A new year brings opportunity for reflection,
new goals are shifting of priorities.
Last year I was in the depths of my post-partum anxiety
and my blog served as a space for me to escape,
be creative and carve out some time for myself.
I had always wanted to attempt
shifting our family blog to a lifestyle blog.
Through that shift I had the opportunity and pleasure
to meet some wonderful people!
I was inspired by some great woman
who were leaders and taking charge of their careers.
I met some amazing makers of all kinds of products,
held giveaways and met some new people along the way.
I am forever grateful for those opportunities
and feel proud of myself for just going for it
and seeing what came forth.
Now, a whole year later,
I am at a place where I am ready to release it.
but for now,
I am going to put my blog aside.
Instead of saying 'New Years Resolution'
I am going to call them my new ways of being.
For 2016 my new ways of being
have placed new priorities in my life
and my blog no longer fits into this.
Perhaps, if the mood strikes me,
I may come back and post some photos
or write out some thoughts.
This last year I had to make the incredibly
difficult decision to take care of myself.
Some of you may know what I mean
when I saw that it is difficult.
In January I had a 3 month old,
a 3 year old and a husband.
I was also floundering.
Through the incredible support of my husband and friends,
I decided that if I can't take care of myself,
I can't take care of my family.
We ( I say we because this required immense
support in a few different ways from my husband)
sent me to see a counselor, to a naturopath
and a low dose of medication for anxiety.
I took time for myself to write,
to take baths,
to go for walks alone and
join a gym.
There were times that I felt like the world
was against me.
When I was trying to get the girls out
the door so I could go work out
and Claire would refuse.
She didn't want to go
to the childcare at the gym.
Once we were there I would leave them
in the childcare and Jane would cry.
Oh she would cry!
It took everything in me to focus on my yoga practice,
or put in the headphones and get the endorphin's pumping through me.
There were times when I didn't want to take more
pills than I already have to.
I hated that I had to be on medication for my anxiety,
but I hated myself more for the thoughts I had when I wasn't on it.
To make a long story longer,
last year was a big year for me.
A year of change, of discovering who I am through
all of the mothering, anxiety, my role as a wife and a homemaker.
Now as we are in 2016
I am ready to release all of that
and jump in with two feet to
this beautiful life I have.
I want to be with my family,
really be with them!
To see what my girls see,
enjoy the time I have with them.
I want to DISCONNECT
so that I can truly CONNECT.
This is where my blog comes in.
While it served me well in 2015,
it no longer serves me in 2016.
Thank you to those who faithfully read my blog.
I will continue to write for a Good Mother Project,
and hope to write for some other sites as well,
to keep pursuing my love for writing.
I will post those links on Facebook.
Happy New Year to you all, friends and family.
Thank you for your love and support.
Photo by Michelle Cervo