How Do We Know if God is Calling Us?

How do we know when
God is calling us?
"I feel God is calling me to..."
is what I consider to be Christianese.
Something Christians say that others
may not understand.
What does it look like when God calls 
us to something?
Or sound like?
Or feel like?

I don't have answers to these questions
and am open to any resources you may
have that provides insight to some answers! 

Often times I feel nudges,
urges, deep passions or feelings 
towards something.
A conviction?
A deep moral code?
A strong sensation?
Sure, it may be one or all of those things.
I believe this is the Holy Spirit 
working in my heart towards something.
What do you think?

For several years I have felt called
that our family would move overseas.
I have no idea in what capacity,
or for how long.
I don't know any of those details.
I don't even know if it will happen!
Yet I have felt this kind of pull.
A longing deep within me
that really believes there is something 
for our family there.
Specifically in the United Kingdom.

Spencer and I are very much so
people that enjoy the comforts of home.
Familiarity, security and consistency 
are things we draw comfort from.
Spencer and I have also talked about
this so-called feeling, or longing,
I have felt and he believes it would 
have to be an opportunity that makes sense.
Something that falls into our lap
and works with what we have set up here at home.

That sounds safe, that sounds smart,
that sounds like something we would do!
Heck that sounds like something we SHOULD do.
Yet for the last month I have been really feeling challenged
to step out in faith. 
What does that look like to step out in faith?
Taking a risk when it doesn't make sense,
what it seems stupid, silly and too risky! 
Yet how many times does God 'call us' 
to step out in faith, take a risk, 
and fully put our trust in Him!

When I meditate on this-
what it means to take a leap of faith
and put my trust in Him-
it always leads me back to moving abroad.
What if we just followed Him?

Yet it also brings me back 
to what drives almost every decision I make.
What if?
What if?
What if?
What if we go and it fails?
What if we go and we lose everything?
What if we go and our girls hate it?
What if we go and my husband hates it?
What if we go and it leads to bitterness and resentment?
What if we go and I was wrong?
There was no 'calling' but a selfish desire to go?
What if?

How do we know the difference
between what WE want,
what God wants
and what is just a silly dream?
Has God put this desire in
my heart because He has something in store for us?
Even if its a total flop?
Or is this just me,
wanting to try it out?
How do we know?

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