Until Next Time

A new year brings opportunity for reflection,

new goals are shifting of priorities.

Last year I was in the depths of my post-partum anxiety

and my blog served as a space for me to escape,

be creative and carve out some time for myself.

I had always wanted to attempt 

shifting our family blog to a lifestyle blog.

Through that shift I had the opportunity and pleasure

to meet some wonderful people!

I was inspired by some great woman

who were leaders and taking charge of their careers.

I met some amazing makers of all kinds of products,

held giveaways and met some new people along the way.

I am forever grateful for those opportunities

and feel proud of myself for just going for it

and seeing what came forth.

Now, a whole year later,

I am at a place where I am ready to release it.

Not permanently, 

but for now,

I am going to put my blog aside.

Instead of saying 'New Years Resolution'

I am going to call them my new ways of being.

For 2016 my new ways of being

have placed new priorities in my life

and my blog no longer fits into this.

Perhaps, if the mood strikes me,

I may come back and post some photos

or write out some thoughts.

This last year I had to make the incredibly

difficult decision to take care of myself.

Some of you may know what I mean

when I saw that it is difficult.

In January I had a 3 month old,

a 3 year old and a husband.

I was also floundering.

Through the incredible support of my husband and friends,

I decided that if I can't take care of myself,

I can't take care of my family.

We ( I say we because this required immense 

support in a few different ways from my husband)

sent me to see a counselor, to a naturopath 

and a low dose of medication for anxiety.

I took time for myself to write, 

to take baths,

to go for walks alone and 

join a gym.

There were times that I felt like the world

was against me.

When I was trying to get the girls out 

the door so I could go work out

and Claire would refuse. 

She didn't want to go

to the childcare at the gym.

Once we were there I would leave them

in the childcare and Jane would cry.

Oh she would cry!

It took everything in me to focus on my yoga practice,

or put in the headphones and get the endorphin's pumping through me.

There were times when I didn't want to take more

pills than I already have to.

I hated that I had to be on medication for my anxiety,

but I hated myself more for the thoughts I had when I wasn't on it.

To make a long story longer,

last year was a big year for me.

A year of change, of discovering who I am through

all of the mothering, anxiety, my role as a wife and a homemaker.

Now as we are in 2016

I am ready to release all of that 

and jump in with two feet to 

this beautiful life I have.

I want to be with my family,

really be with them!

To see what my girls see,

enjoy the time I have with them.

I want to DISCONNECT

so that I can truly CONNECT.

This is where my blog comes in.

While it served me well in 2015,

it no longer serves me in 2016.

Thank you to those who faithfully read my blog.

I will continue to write for a Good Mother Project,

and hope to write for some other sites as well,

to keep pursuing my love for writing.

I will post those links on Facebook.

Happy New Year to you all, friends and family.

Thank you for your love and support.

Michelle xx

Photo by Michelle Cervo