Today Will Be Better

Yesterday was a tough day.
This week, really, has been kind of hard.
It might be a mixture of PMS,
Claire being sick,
and her plotting to do something each day that makes me reach my limit.

Monday night Claire woke up 
throwing up at 2:30 am. 
I felt so bad for her.
She ended up in our bed,
cuddled between us.
Tossing and turning and kicking me in the jaw a few times.
But I didn't mind because she was sick.
Sleep is something we as parents sacrifice for the betterment 
of our children, right?

Tuesday was a pretty low key day
filled with washing sick bedding
and watching movies.

oh yesterday.
It was the kind of day I fell into bed thinking
I had completely failed my family.
I know its not true,
but moms, 
can you please tell me I'm not alone in this?
Tell me you've had days like this too? 

Days where you come out
from a quick trip to the loo
to find your child covered in concealer
and the couch too?
Claire throwing a plastic knife across the table at her daddy,
followed by a spanking which she politely thanks you for afterward?
(Yes, we are going to need to figure something else out!)
Or days when you take another quick trip to the loo,
praying the entire 45 seconds that nothing is happening out there.
Only to find sparkly red nail polish all over the coffee table
and your toddler's face and hands?
Please tell me you've had those days?

We rushed out the door to London Drugs to
buy some nail polish remover.
I prayed so hard it wouldn't ruin the delicate skin on her sweet,
sparkly red face.
Then we headed in to Tsawwassen to meet daddy for dinner...
only to realize that the salad I said I would pack for us
is still sitting, in all its individual pieces, in the crisper.
This is where I almost lost it,
as I drove through the McDonalds drive through and purchased
this tiny human a Happy Meal.
Which came in a hot pink trick or treat bucket. 
I hid the fries from her and gave her the yogurt and burger.
Does that redeem me a little bit?
It was at this point that I felt like a failure.
My husband reassured me that I was not, and that tomorrow
would be much better.

The glimmering light in all of that?
The youngest of the Smid clan,
Travis, proposed to his girlfriend, Lindsay.
Needless to say we are all overjoyed.
Throughout the concealer-nail-polish-McDonalds escapade
I kept replaying my phone conversation with her 
over and over in my mind, 
and it would make me smile
(okay, and cry a little bit too!)

They will get married,
they will have beautiful children.
And those children will also
cover themselves in nail polish and make up
and I will be here to tell Lindsay its going to be fine.


  1. Im sorry its been tough. You are an amazing mom, wife and friend and I am in constant amazement of all that you do, with a smile on your face! I love you!!! as does your precious family. I think we are tougher on ourselves than anyone else is, so give yourself some grace, hey darling? And go take a nap. You deserve a nap. :) xoxo

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  3. Oh my dear. Those days of falling into your bad feeling inadequate or insufficient sadly become more frequent the more toddlers you accumulate! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that they begin to taper off again as the kids get older. The important thing is that we all have them! I'm looking forward to giving you a real squeeze but for now I send you wifi hugs. Hope today was less exciting. Or at least a better kind of exciting! And congrats to Travis and Lindsy!


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