Mommy Mondays: Surviving Back to School

This Wednesday 

my oldest daughter has her first day of school.

This day somehow came too quickly. 

In so many ways I look at her 

and I see a tiny little girl

who needs me to help her.

Yet, I can't believe how 

mature she is, how much she has grown

and become such a big girl.

All year I have been thinking about this day

and now it is near.

Somehow, by the grace of God,

I feel ready.

I feel ready to wave good bye 

and let her have some independence.

It is so hard! 

In reality, 

I have had four years to prepare for this day.

I am blessed beyond belief that I am

able to stay home and be with her for all of those years.

The days to come are going to change for us.

But I firmly believe this is the best thing for her,

for myself, and for our relationship.

For me,
surviving back to school means
a pocket of tissues ready to be used.
Committing a portion of each morning
to praying for Claire,
her teachers and her friendships.
Being engaged and giving Jane
quality time with Mommy,

 that her older sister got.
Allowing myself to feel and process
the flood of emotions 

that are sure to come.
Writing to Claire in

 the journal I keep for her.
Allowing myself to express the complex emotions
I feel that she will one day relate to as a mother.

How do you survive back to school?