Honest Parenting Post #2

As a parent we've all been here.
I know it.
However it doesn't make the moments easier.

There have been endless discussions at our house about what it means to listen and obey. Not only to Mommy & Daddy but other people too like grandparents, teachers, uncles and aunts. It seems the days can be endless reminder after reminder. 

Sometimes I think about throwing in the towel. 
Letting a snide remark slide, not saying anything after the sixteenth reminder to pick up/put away/no tantrums/no whining. 
But I know I can't.
No one ever claimed it would be easy.

This sweet darling girl of ours has such a big heart. She is so affectionate, sensitive, caring, a great helper, eager to learn, hilarious and has a wild imagination ...the list could go on.

She is also incredibly strong-willed, sassy and has high high's and low low's. We struggle with her defiance daily. We want to raise her to stand up for herself, be convicted and strong in her beliefs, not be easily swayed or pushed around. Most of these things will help her with that. We just need to channel it in a way that is pleasing and glorifying to God. We need His help to do this.

Yes, following through is so incredibly hard. Some days I loathe it. But I am reminded that God put Spencer and I in charge of these little girls. To teach, guide and help them make decisions that are responsible and good. Eventually becoming independent beings. So right now it looks like sticker charts, Popsicle rewards, trips to the park, spankings, talks, fmore talks and taking away privileges. 

On a side note- another motivator is when I'm out in the community and I see other care givers who don't follow through or discipline. It drives me crazy! 

Today, we talked lots about her first horseback riding lesson with Socks. We had gone already to meet Socks, see the barn and meet the teacher. She was really excited for this afternoon. There has also been conversation about her nap time. How important it will be to have a rest beforehand so she is bright, happy and alert while on the horse. We reminded her as the time came closer that she will need to go to sleep right away. She can't get out of bed and needs to close her eyes and when she wakes up it will be time to go. 

We were in agreement. She understood. She knew what she had to do and what would happen if she didn't do it. 

About 15 minutes later I can hear her running around upstairs. Her door opening and closing and her dresser drawers sliding open and shut.

Caught red handed.

I so, so badly wanted to go back on my word. 

I wanted to yell "Why?!" 

I cried inside.

Calmly I explained what I saw and offered her a chance for a logical (ha) explanation. Of course, there wasn't one. When I told her what it meant for her privilege to be removed she was so angry with me. She yelled at me. It hurt me. But I knew I had to stick to my guns. 

We talked about privileges, Cubbies, riding, playing with friends, etc were all extras. And if we chose not to listen and obey they would be taken away. 

Such a hard lesson to learn.

I know it won't be the last time, or the only child to learn it. 

For all the moms who know how I feel, kudos for sticking to it. It's tough and we don't give ourselves enough credit. We live in a world where it's every mother for herself, we need to change that. Bridge the gap in parenting choices and styles and pat each other on the back when it's deserved. 

You never know how much it could mean!

1 comment:

  1. You are a great Mommy, Michelle and together you and Spencer make a strong team. Your firm, consistent boundaries will be the best gift you ever give Claire.


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