Being Honest and Needing Change

Okay readers,
whoever you may be,
things about real up in here.

2013 was not my best year.
I would say not even in the top ten.
There was a LOT happening,
a lot of change and being really honest...

This post by no means is a complaint,
at all.
It is about recognizing that I have the power to change
and make 2014 my best yet.

Change is inevitable.
Change is good.
It isn't always easy.
Moving from Portland 
was incredibly difficult for me.
But true to self,
I spent more time obsessing over the
move date than just taking it in stride and 
seeing the good in it. 
If we were still in Portland,
living in our silly (I could think of many other words) apartment
it would mean Spencer didn't do well in school.
We wouldn't be here,
in this beautiful place close to our family and other friends.

The other thing was my thyroid.
I have been very censored about my struggles
with this tiny butterfly-shaped gland that controls your entire body.
(There are many places to learn more about it, but I'll leave that up to you).
I will not go into details, because I really don't need to rehash it all.
But similar to 2009,
it decided to do its own thing and completely and totally
defy all logic.
It had many of us and doctors feeling very baffled.
This made me a not very fun person to live with.
With this came the difficulty of coping with change...
you see where I'm going with this...

Again, being totally honest,
I would have LOVED to have a baby growing inside me right now.
And sadly, I do not.

this is why I LOVE New Years.
A clean slate, 
a new start,
a second (or 28th) chance!
I am giving myself grace.
I am not dwelling on 2013
and I am moving forward.

Have you heard people talk about 
their 'word of the year'?
The idea that the word will
be your anthem/motto/inspiration for the entire year.

I had a hard time nailing it down to one.
Here were some runner ups:
- focus (shifting it, really)
-Let go, Let God
What I chose was intentional
because what I want to be is intentional about all those things.
I want to choose joy above all else,
I want to extend grace to myself,
and to those around me.
I want to let go of the reins
(the steering wheel or whichever cliche fits)
and let God take control of my life.

He knows when our next baby will arrive, and how many we'll have.
He knows what the heck is up with my thyroid
and He knows what 2014 looks like for our family.
I am doing what I can
and this year will truly be one of me not worrying about it and having fun with my family.
I am going to stop caring about what those around me think.
I trust that what I am doing/go to do will be honouring and pleasing to God,
I will put Him first and then my husband and daughter right after.
I don't need anyone's approval but that of my King,
and that is really all that matters.

2014 is going to be about taking it in stride,
letting go of my expectations and what 'should' happen. 
My kids will be more than three years apart and its going to be awesome.
My family of three will carry on and have fun even if I am spent after a morning of this fun.
My days will be spent getting out and getting down with my toddler.
Nap times will be spent in a balance of house work and reflection.
There will be more reading of chick novels,
the Bible, murder mysteries, cookbooks and magazines.
I am going to watch seasons of TV on Netflix with my husband
and beat him in crib more than once. 
Time with friends,
time with family.
Building sandcastles and dreams.

Here's to you 2014.
Take me for a ride!

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