12.09.2009

Oh Life

Life - do you ever find it gets in the way?

Why is it that at the most important, special, magical time of year, it feels like we have LESS time to slow down, relax and enjoy it?

Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed. I am filling the very big shoes of my coordinator at work, as well as still fulfilling my own position. It is an eye opener to see the demands that she has to deal with on a daily basis. And then, at the same time provide the care to the person(s) I am supporting for the day. There were times today where things got a bit hectic, too loud and I wanted to crawl into a tiny hole and hum carols until I fell asleep.

But...that can't happen. Instead I take 5 minutes and slip into the changeroom where Jenny lies quietly in her bed relaxing and listening to Christmas music. As I pull up a chair and rub her tummy, I wish so badly that I can just crawl up beside her, cuddle under the fleece blanket and relax with her. Besides the fact that that would be extremely unprofessional, I would have probably fallen asleep!

It was my goal for this fall to take time to BREATHE, to just sit with tea and not think about anything else except for where I am in the moment. I feel I have been doing an okay job at that. But of course, there is always room for improvement. Even just sitting here at the computer. I need to not rush this, but enjoy it. Enjoy my tea that is now cold, enjoy the blessing that I can sit and blog. Just take a second to close my eyes and breathe. Remember this moment.

That is probably the best advise my parents have given me. Simple, but always important. I remember the day before Spencer and I were leaving for our 6 weeks in Europe; Dad looked me in the eyes and told me to stop once in a while and look around. Really soak it in and realize where I am and how long I'd waited to get there. And, not always hide behind my camera. I did do that, and I'm so glad I did. I can pretty much remember all the places I did do that, too!

And really I have waited so long to get here too. Where I am today, married to a wonderful guy, living with him, having our small family of two. I need reminders to enjoy the mundane things of the day. I am so blessed to have Spencer, to have a home, to be ABLE to pack his lunch, make him dinner and sit with him and have a cup of tea. I am blessed to have a job that I enjoy, to have friends, to have a healthy family. I need to remember to thank God for those things, and for the very blessing that I am alive today, because there is no certainty in tomorrow.




O

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