Mommy Mondays: Taking Care of Us

As a mother,

rather, as a parent,

we give all day every single day.

We give our bodies, we give our time,

we give our last bite of donut

and our last bit of patience.

We are constantly giving.  

The sacrifice is great, 

but the gain is even greater.

Oh, how I love

when my baby gives me an open mouth kiss,

even if it includes dribbles of her runny nose!

Gross, I know, but it is also a little slice of Heaven.

There is nothing I love more than cooking with my daughter.

Yes, the kitchen is an absolute disaster

(which would have made me absolutely cringe pre-kid days),

but I am making memories with Claire, and I love that! 

There's nothing quite like making cookies in a party dress.

However,

there are some days where it gets to me;

I would be lying if I said it didn't. 

There are days when I don't want to be touched anymore.

When the kitchen floor needs to be mopped AGAIN,

and I just don't want to.

When I fall asleep during bedtime routine

and Claire gently wakes me up to finish reading a story. 

There are days when Spencer walks in the door,

and I give him the look that screams,

"Thank God you are home, now help me!" 

Throughout my journey with post postpartum anxiety,

I have learned how grounded I can be

when I take some time for myself.

The way I do this is through spending time

reading my Bible, doing my devotions and writing in my journal;

time meditating, praying and being still;

to hear my own thoughts.

Sometimes Claire will ask if she can join me,

and I have to let her know that I need some quiet time on my own.

Afterwards, I will spend some time reading or talking with her.

The guilt of saying no bothers me;

I also know that I need to do this to set myself up for

a great day with my girls. 

Does this make me a bad parent?

No, it makes me human.

What makes us good parents 

is when we see it, acknowledge it and address it.

Taking time for ourselves is not a luxury,

its a necessity.

I know there is no way

I can keep giving all of myself

when there is nothing left to give.

Having a bath and a glass of wine,

or taking a few hours to meet a friend for coffee alone

gives me back my sanity.

It reminds me that I am Michelle first,

that my husband and my kids

have certainly shaped who I am today,

they are not who I am today. 

This also goes for our relationships

with our spouses.

Spencer will be with me long after my kids

are off and on their own.

That days seems so far away,

but if how quickly the last 4 years

have gone is any indicator,, 

I know they will also pass too quickly.

Keeping our relationship alive and healthy

takes work.

Throw in a couple of kids

and it becomes serious effort to 

make time for each other.

Date nights in or out;

a simple conversation uninterrupted.

An incredible amount of patience 

with each other when the demands of family

pull us in opposite directions.

We need to connect on a level

that is more than just our roles as parents.

We need to connect as husband and wife

and as friends.

Double dates, dates alone.
Out or in, 
making time together a priority.

Taking care of ourselves
is often met with raised eyebrows from others,
or an attitude of 'when our kids are gone
then we can make time for ourselves.'
Then what are we teaching our children then?
That self care isn't important?
That taking the time to better ourselves isn't a priority?
For me, I want me girls to see this
and know I am doing it because I love their daddy so much.
That being physically, mentally and emotionally fit
takes effort and it takes time.

Investing in myself,
is ultimately investing in my family.