4.18.2010

Could I Be More Random? I Don't Think So.

I feel like I need to let out a sigh. *SIGH* It has been one of those weeks. You know what I mean? The ones with the ups and the ones with the downs all in seven days. I have blogged it already and I am sure you all don't want to hear me blubbering about Wrigley and droning on about Portland again.

Lately I have found myself hiding in the lives of others. Some people busy themselves with work, others they vacuum until every fibre of carpet is clean, and then there are others more like me. (I hope.) Who cry at the drop of a hat (where does that expression come from anyway?) and absorb themselves in living vicariously in lives of friends in cyber space.

Today the week caught up with me. The emotional exhaustion has given me a splitting headache that I have momentarily held back with Extra Strength Tylenol and a big glass of water. Thanks to Ree Drummond and Lisa Leonard for keeping my mind occupied just when I needed it. Your blogs make me laugh and appreciate the little things in life; like birds perching on a wire.

My mind feels so full. The Lord sure has brought us far. It feels like not that long ago (and it wasn't) that Spencer and I were in neutral, waiting for our next move. Wondering what God had in store for us. Plugging along, applying for schools, working, and getting to know each other more. Then BAM; just that metaphorical window flew WIDE open and what we saw beyond it was insane. God, You really do surprise us! A total shift in direction, location and work. I feel overwhelmed with things to do, prepare for, a cruise to look forward to, wedding showers, weddings, apartment hunting, passport applying, figuring out the details and trusting in the Lord.

On top of my mind swirling with this daunting to do list that easily overwhelms me, I am SLIGHTLY procrastinating on my regular chores (my friend Dark Load sits next to me, unfolded and wrinkly on the couch watching NHL highlights.) Oh, and that dishwasher that needs to be unloaded? Tomorrow. At least they're clean.

I am so thankful for a husband who holds me when I cry (for a guy who grew up with brothers, he is getting used to this thing we call "emotions"), helps me cook dinner, scratches my back (not metaphorically), studies hard, works hard, makes me laugh, and throws a load of laundry in when I ask. He needs a cape and a badge. He's a superhero. He is also busy "Craigslisting" (yes, I JUST made that a verb) apartments, organizing our visas and getting the schoolwork done so we can go. He also works two jobs and is COMPLETELY redoing our house. Wow. And I feel overwhelmed. How does he hold it all together?

Yes, I may be a scatter brain (and I can't blame it on PMS). I forget where my keys are, my phone is, where that really important piece of paper is. It is only because my brain whirls so much with dreams and thoughts and new Etsy projects, and ideas for the clients at work, and what to make for dinner, and what to blog, and what how I am going to accessorize for Edol's wedding, and should I bring my bike to Portland, and thoughts of what I need at the grocery store - I tend to forget a lot of other things. I wonder if that will ever change?

Can anyone relate? Am I the only one like this? For now I dream of a room that has floor to ceiling walls of books. Wouldn't that be great?

2 comments:

  1. you are incredible Michelle and I can't not wait to see this next season unfold as God brings the two of you into a new adventure!
    ps. love the book photo!

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  2. Michelle,
    What an aventure you're on! It's so scary and exciting when you don't know what's next. I felt the same way when Paul and I moved to Cranbrook,Finding new jobs, making new friends, getting involved in a new church, and now getting ready to rent out our house while we move to the meditteranean for 7 months! But God has a plan and it is always the best, and always exciting. Don't worry, things will get less crazy! Looking forward to reading more about this new direction in your lives.
    Laya

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