Hurt and Trust

In a world where there is so much pain,
all we can do is trust in our Lord
and His Sovereign plan.
Though fear tries to control my life,
I lean on my husband 
and on my Heavenly Father 
for the strength that I need.

as you probably know,
is our ultrasound appointment.
This will determine whether 
we will have a son or daughter.
As well as take a look
to make sure that he/she is 
growing strong and well,
and everything looks the way 
it is supposed to.

The motherly instinct
to protect my child
and make sure it is healthy
is overwhelming.
Something that cannot be understood
until you are in that position.

fear grips me tightly 
as we wait for that test tomorrow.
It seems so recently that we
heard the news that our dear
friends' son was diagnosed with something
terrible during their half way ultra sound,
it still haunts me.
Praise the Lord he was born
3 weeks ago a completely
 healthy baby Ezra.

Then today, 
I read a blog of a 
"friend of a friend".
Their ultrasound was yesterday,
where they learned they were having
a baby boy, Rowan.
At the same appointment
they learned that their son 
is missing the left half of his heart.
This is called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome.
Now they are reading stats,
and learning about how to deal with this news.

She wrote:
"I cannot sleep, I cannot eat, I cannot exist, I cannot live, if I do not have my son. We prayed so hard last night, tears flowing down both our faces, telling God we cannot bear to loose him. We cannot lose a child. It is too much for us to bear."

This breaks my heart.
Then I proceed to Facebook,
where I hear a cry for prayer for a friends
young cousin who is diagnosed with cancer.
Fear has it's grip on me today.
Please pray that tomorrow's appointment
will bring us nothing but pure joy!

Either way,
I lean today on God's faithfulness,
knowing full well
that He knows this child
so well.
He knows it's life,
he knows it,
He created it in my womb!
I trust in His plan.


  1. heaps of prayers!

  2. God knows, God hears, God cares.
    Love you

  3. praying for your little one & your appointment today Michelle! His perfect love will cast out your fear.


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