{in}courage

As most of you know, I love reading Lisa Leonard's blog.

She also writes for {in}courage. Today she posted this.

It made my heart heavy for her and her family.

Although I cannot relate to her specific fear, I do know fear.

She also quoted one of my favourite verses at the end.

Whenever I am feeling less-then-adequate, that verse helps me to keep things in check.

Check out {in}courage, if you haven't already.

Lisa is just one of the amazing, Godly women who post on this site.

It's a great resource.

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Our oldest son David (7 years old) was born with a disability including missing fingers on his left hand, small size, delays in all developmental areas and a heart defect.

Whenever I explain David's special needs to someone, I'm always quick to tell them how amazing he is--how his personality lights up a room and everyone whoknows him is blessed by his sweet nature.

We found out a few weeks ago that David would behaving surgery this summer and that the surgeon would need to open his chest to repair the hole in his heart. And since we got that news, I've been sort of a mess.

I'm not someone who usually struggles with fear, but thethought of David's chest being opened makes my knees wobble and my throat tighten up. It's hard to think about, let alone talk about, with actual words.

I don't like feeling afraid. and I find myself broken before the Lord. navigating the unknown makes me realize how out of control I am. It also reminds me that God is in control.

The world is not a random, chaotic place, but every moment of every day is overseen by a capable, loving God. Who knows me and knows David.

And He loves us.

This is where my hope lies.

This is how I navigate the unknown.

Psalm 42:5 says, "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."