Finding Time For Quiet Time

As a mother,

finding time for yourself can be difficult.

Before I had kids,

I admittedly thought it was all a little over exaggerated.

How were you unable to have a shower? It takes 5 minutes!

You really didn't get to go pee all day? Please.

Oh how naive I was! 

This is me letting my 3 year old give me 'face paint'.

My attempt in keeping her quiet while on the phone.

Now as a mom,

I understand that not being able to sit down and pee (alone) 

is definitely a real thing. 

I have perfected how to unbutton my jeans,

pull them down, pull up my jeans and button them again

all with one hand! 

Yes, these may seem like small triumphs,

but triumphs they are.

It's all about learning and perfecting a whole new set of skills.

Being a mom is a big learning curve in so many ways.

That being said,

when it comes to carving out time

for yourself, it is a hard thing to do.

If I can't get the basics covered,

 like toileting and showering,

how could I possibly spend 30 minutes 

in alone reading my Bible?

Even painting my nails or shaving my legs

have become luxuries.

It is tough to readjust.

To shift my  priority and mindset,

carving out time for God each day.

The great thing is that God doesn't care

if I am showered in order to meet Him.

He doesn't mind that I may

have a little one on my lap watching

videos on my phone 

so that I can spend some time 

reading His word.

It certainly looks different with children, 

but it doesn't mean it has to stop.

God calls us to spend time with Him,

to study His word and to pray.

There are times for me when this is much easier,

and times when it seems impossible. 

For instance, when my oldest daughter was a baby she would take two,

sometimes three, naps a day.

That seemed easy enough for me to figure out.

The first nap was when I'd make a cup of tea and sit down with

my Bible and journal to have quiet time.

The other naps I would devote to cleaning or exercise.

As she grew older her naps decreased

and I had to choose how I wanted to spend that time.

Would I clean a disorderly and untidy house?

Would I shower, have a cup of coffee and breakfast in peace?

Or would I sit down and open my Bible?

It was a toss up every day.

Often times I chose a combination of the first two.

My devotionals and time with God

kept getting further down my list of priorities.

I'd tell myself it was too hard to sit down 

when there was so much else to be done.

Sure that may have been true, 

my to-do list was always long.

The best times to tackle it was when my daughter was sleeping.

It feels selfish to do something for ourselves.

Even if you don't have a belief system that you want to devote time to.

Just getting out to exercise, read a book,

go for a walk alone or sit and hear your own thoughts.

Using a portion of our day just for us feels foreign,

but it is so important. 

For our sanity, for our souls and for our families.

A solo bike ride at sun set. Peaceful and serene.

Recently, I started going to a fitness class.

I pack up the girls in the van and drive a short distance.

They have childcare there that's fun for the girls.

On the third day, Claire announced she didn't want to go.

That she would rather just stay at home.

The struggle for me to overcome the guilt of taking her anyway was incredible.

I wanted to give her what she wanted, 

a morning at home watching cartoons.

Yet I knew that taking one hour out of my day for myself

would ultimately be better for us all.

I reminded myself that my three year old thinks and expresses

what she wants in that moment.

 I needed to push through it and take her with me.

When I take the time to even spend 15 minutes to sit 

and read my devotional, and hopefully have enough time left over 

to write in my journal, I feel better prepared for the day.

It is almost as if I have a sense of peace over me.

My anxiety decreases, my temper isn't as short 

and I feel as if I can go with the flow of the day easier.

When I choose to take a shower, work out,

or spend a few minutes drinking a hot cup of coffee, I know 

that investing time for myself is also investing time for the my family.

The best version of Mommy is what my kids deserve.

Your time for yourself should be guilt free.

Don't get hung up on the fact that you need to be 

entirely alone, sometimes that just isn't a possibility. 

For the betterment of yourself,

make the time for some cleansing breaths,

a cup of tea and spend some time in the Word

reminding yourself you are a precious child of the King.

A marriage seminar and date night for Spencer and I.

Taking some time to work on and appreciate what we have.

I use the She Reads Truth app on my phone for great devotionals and to always have the Bible at my fingertips. It is a great way to stay connected. You can read it while making dinner, during your quiet time or (gasp!) in the bathroom! Right now I am enjoying the Fruits of the Spirit study. Read me review on the app here.

In Review: She Reads Truth App

My friend sent me a text message a couple of weeks ago telling me about this great app she had discovered called She Reads Truth. It is an app that has the Bible (in various translations), devotionals and other tools such as a place to keep notes and bookmarks.

Immediately I went to download it and I chose my first reading plan. 

 I chose This Is the Bible and I am on day 9, the last day. I thoroughly enjoyed it and felt like it was a great place to begin. Already I am looking forward to choosing my next plan. 

What I love is that it is on my phone, which is (almost) always near me if not on me. The Word of God quite literally at my finger tips. How blessed am I?! You can set up an alert that reminds you to read. This feature I particularly love because with my mind constantly in several places at once and my attention often split it is hard for me to remember that I need to sit down and focus for 20 minutes. This gives me the reminder and most of the days I am able to sit down within a few minutes and read.  If not, it is a reminder to do it soon. I am not one of those wonderful morning people who can wake up before the rest of the family to do devotions. I need (and love) my sleep!

The other thing I love is the search bar at he top. This allows you to type in any word and topic and it searches the Bible for you! 

Most of the devotionals cover Old Testament and New, they are well written by a woman for women and they are the perfect length. Since downloading this I have noticed myself using the Bible as a tool throughout the day and spending more time reading and referencing.

This app is free and available through the App Store. I am sure it is also available through Google Play as well. 

She Reads Truth is on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest. 

Happy reading!

The Power of Friendships

This morning I woke up to day number 3 of being sick.

Ugh, as my husband showered and dressed for work I looked in the mirror as I was coughing

and despised what I saw looking back.

Haggard, bags under my eyes, swollen dry lips...

Really it was a sight for sore eyes.

Determined to make it through the day 

I set my daughter up with some Valentine's Day crafts

and put the baby in her jumperoo.

For the time being everyone was happy and I could lay on the couch.

It wasn't long before I had someone on my shoulders

and one on my boob. 

All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep the day away.

Sometimes, life as a mom is like this.

We are in our pajamas far too long,

covered in spit up

and forced out of bed when we want to sleep the day away.

Once I got everyone settled I sat down with a cup of coffee and opened up my email.

What I found was my daily devotional from Proverbs 31 Ministries. 

FEBRUARY 12, 2015 3 Ways to Find Life-Giving Relationships LYSA TERKEURST "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works." Hebrews 10:24 (ESV) I pressed my forehead against my front door window while tears quietly slipped down my cheeks. I watched my husband pull out of the driveway and head off to another day at work. I then turned to look at what my day would hold — a crying baby, a messy house and an overwhelming feeling of dread. How could this be? I finally had everything I ever thought would make me happy, fulfilled, significant and satisfied, yet I was more miserable and lonely than I’d ever been. Finally realizing a great husband, healthy baby and a comfortable house with a flowerbed planted out front, weren’t the answers to ultimate happiness in life, rattled my soul to the core. There are deep places within our soul that God hand-designed and reserved only for Him to fill. But my whole life had been focused on getting these other things that I thought would fill me up. So when they fell short, I slid to the ground and cried, "God, I can’t do this. Where do I go from here? How do I find You? Help me!" A few weeks later, my husband called and said there was a woman in his restaurant who wanted to meet me. I glanced down at my spit-covered sweatpants, ran my hands through my greasy hair, and willed my mind to override the desire to pass on meeting her that day. I couldn’t handle the relationships I had in my life, I certainly couldn’t make time for more. Plus, if I got too close to women who appeared to have their lives together, they’d judge me for the pitiful way mine was falling apart. I just didn’t have the whitespace for anything but my family. But that was exactly the problem. I was giving everything I had to my family with nothing to fill me back up, no one to encourage me past the hard spots, and no one to share practical advice because she’d been there, done that. So, I crammed my diaper bag full and headed out the door. Over the years, I’ve thought about that pivotal decision to pursue and embrace the necessity of friendships. Not only have they helped me personally, my friendships have been crucial to my success (and sometimes survival) in my roles as wife and mom as well. They’ve made our key verse, Hebrews 10:24, come to life for me. What I once thought would take away from my family, has proven to add a richness I couldn’t have gotten any other way. If you can relate to the season I was in, here are 3 practical ways to find life-giving friendships: 1) Find a friend who does something well that you wish you were better at. It may be managing paper piles, cooking, organizing kids’ rooms, creatively loving her husband, effectively disciplining her kids or a hundred other things. Whatever it is, ask her if you could spend time observing how she does what she does so well. Women love to talk about things they do well. 2) Choose a friend with whom you feel comfortable to pray. There is no better gift we can give our families than to be wives and moms who pray. Praying with a friend about our families will not only knit our hearts closer to the ones we love, but to that friend as well. 3) Pursue a friendship with someone who is one stage behind where you are in life. Offer them practical help in their area of stress and weave in the wisdom you gained as you went through that same stage. Why not spend some time today praying for the friends you have and the friends you’ve yet to meet? God loves to answer those friendship prayers! And trust me on this — go ahead and wash your hair, just in case you get a call like I did all those years ago. Dear Lord, You know the friendships I need in this season of my life. So I’m praying today for the friends I have right now and ones I have yet to meet. Help me be a God-honoring friend who always points them back to You. In Jesus’ Name Amen. I can say that the way Lysa and I differ is that in the season of life I do have amazing people in my life to encourage me through these tough spots. I have an amazing family, and in-laws (to of whom live downstairs and have been a big help the past couple days!) I have friends that know me and fire me an encouraging text. I am so thankful for them and blessed to have them.  When we moved to Portland 4 years ago I left with a stubborn heart. I was determined not to make new friends because I already had awesome ones at home. And I didn't need to make new ones just to say good bye to them at the end of 3 years.  Boy oh boy did God prove me wrong! Not only did I meet new friends, but some of them who wold become some of my best friends. I have said it here before and I will say it again/ Becoming a mother alongside Marissa and Michelle made for some life long friendships. Not just them, but many others through school and church.  Yes, we did have to say good bye and it hurt my heart so incredibly much. My heart hadn't ached like that in a long, long time. I cried big, ugly messy tears as I said good bye to each one of them. BUT, there is good news. If you invest in those friendships they will last. Of course it is a two way street, and when it works, it works well.  Michelle and her family live just over an hour away, and her parents happen to live a hop, skip and a jump away. We get to see them often and it makes my heart swell with gratitude. Marissa and her family live further away then I would like but that's what it is. We have used up flight points and spent money to work on this friendship and we have both commuted to see one another. We get to spend Easter weekend with them this year. I am so thankful for FaceTime and Skype for these long distance relationships. In just a couple of weeks Spencer and I are returning to Portland for the first time since we moved back to B.C. and it will be a sweet reunion! We are so excited to see our old friends again!  Friendships are a blessing, in every season of life. If you are relating to Lysa, like I did, and afraid to step out in your over-stretched yoga pants, spit covered shirt and overflowing diaper bag to meet new friends... just do it. It may be scary, but it will be worth it to open yourself up to someone else. Chances are, they need you too.